If I never had to use my hands again, I would happily wear these beautiful filigree nail rings without giving a single fuck if anyone decided to think less of me for being “effeminate.”
I wonder how well these would work as banjo picks………..
[IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A photograph of a small manatee being scratched by a human in goggles and a wet suit. TEXT: “Everything is going to be okay. Do your best and go easy on yourself if you need. You are going to do great.”]
If male warriors in video games were dressed like female warriors.
WHAT SHOW/DESIGNER IS THIS I AM DYING
I UNDERSTAND NEITHER THE GIANT
DILDOCODPIECE NOR ITS FUNCTION
You don’t have to understand it to find it amazing.
The not understanding is the point
I think the giant codpiece is supposed to be a stand in for the vulva-encasing armor women wear in video games. Not only is it a hideous exaggeration of what sex organs actually look like, this is helpful in battle how exactly?You can stuff your dildo encased dick down your enemies throat and choke them to death…
I was Re-watching Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone and I realized that the Dursleys not only failed Harry (which they did majorly), they failed Dudley as well.
By spoiling him and enabling him to bully and belittle others from such a young age they are partly what made him the way he was.
Like how they showed him to be greedy by showering him with presents on his birthday and not objecting or telling him he should be grateful when he complained and asked for more.
Or by turning the other way (and even encouraging him) when he bullied other children, especially Harry.
It was their responsibility to teach him right from wrong and they failed.
I am not saying Dudley is completely innocent or that he is stuck being a greedy bully but they certainly didn’t do him any favours.
“Dumbledore paused, and although his voice remained light and calm, and he gave no obvious sign of anger, Harry felt a kind of chill emanating from him and noticed that the Dursleys drew very slightly closer together.
'You did not do as I asked. You have never treated Harry as a son. He has known nothing but neglect and often cruelty at your hands. The best that can be said is that he has at least escaped the appalling damage you have inflicted upon the unfortunate boy sitting between you.'”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
THIS IS MARRIAGE!!
Permission to be a bad ass. Nod.
He looks back at the guy like, “SEE THAT? SHE SAID YES. YOU’RE SO FUCKED.”
Like, guys. Sparta was so kick ASS sometimes when it came to women. Spartan women were given these small knives so that if their husbands came home and tried to hit them or assault them, they had a weapon within reach. That weapon was for CUTTING THEIR HUSBANDS’ FUCKING FACES so that when he went out in public everyone would know he was an asshole, abusing jerkface and they would publicly shame him.
I DID NOT KNOW THAT THAT IS GREAT
LET’S JUST TALK ABOUT SPARTAN WOMEN FOR A SECOND.
In Sparta, women could own land and were considered citizens. THAT IS A HUGE BIG FUCKING DEAL. Why? Because that was RARE AS FUCK and there are lots of places TODAY where women don’t even get that much.
Divorce was totally fine, and a woman could expect to keep her own wealth and get custody of the kids because paternal lineage wasn’t very important. And it didn’t make her a pariah! She could totally remarry, no big deal at all.
Spartan women participated in some fuckin’ badass sporting events, too. And because they were expected to be as physically fit as the Spartan menfolk (who all had to serve compulsory military duties, btw, and couldn’t marry until they finished them at thirty) they didn’t have time for lots of swishy dresses. So they wore notoriously short skirts. According to some accounts, their thighs were visible at all times. HOLY SHIT.
Also, In Sparta men only got their names on their graves if they died in battle. And women? Women only got their names on their graves if they died in childbirth. THE SPARTANS COMPARED CHILDBIRTH TO FUCKING BATTLE AND IT WAS VIEWED AS A GODDAMN BADASS AND HONORABLE WAY TO GO OUT.
FUCKING SPARTAN WOMEN. THIS DUDE HAD FUCKIN’ BETTER MAKE SURE SHE’S COOL WITH WHATEVER HE’S DOING, IF HE KNOWS WHAT’S FUCKIN’ GOOD FOR HIM.
^^ I throughly enjoyed the history lesson dashed with the colorful adjectives.
If this is true about the women then that’s awesome!
whats perfect about jack harkness is he doesnt hit on everyone because he has low standards he just really thinks everyone is hot
#always remember #no matter who you are #or where you are #or what you think of yourself #captain jack harkness thinks you’re hot #and would most likely #should the oppurtunity present itself #fuck you
I’m so glad they referenced him in the special
Interesting fact. The photographer of this photo was a high school student. He committed suicide after exams.
Reblogging in memory of the photographer.
With the context of this photographer, this picture just means that much more. SO so powerful.
So so powerful oh my
DID YOU MOTHERFUCKERS REALLY THINK YOU WERE DONE WITH ME? I THINK NOT. THAT’S RIGHT IT’S THE SUGAR SCRUB CHICK BACK WITH ANOTHER FUCKING TUTORIAL. YOU BITCHES HAVE BEEN ASKING ME FOR AGES TO MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FUCKING POSTS AND IT’S FUCKING LATE SO HERE YOU GO FUCKERS WE GON LEARN SOME SHIT SO SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET
SO WE ALL WANT LIPS RED AS THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN RIGHT AND WHO DOESN’T FUCKING LIKE ARTS AND CRAFTS AND I DON’T EVEN NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND LIPSTICK FOR FUCKING COSPLAY SO BEHOLD THE HUMBLE CRAYON YOU LITTLE SHITS
GET A CRAYON. AND NOT JUST ANY CRAYON A FUCKING CRAYOLA CRAYON DON’T EVEN TRY WITH THAT ROSEART SHIT BECAUSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND RIP OUT YOUR UVULA. IF YOU WANNA GET REALLY ARTSY WHIP OUT ONE OF THESE BAD BOYS
AND BREAK UP SOME CRAYONS TO GET THE PERFECT SHADE OF BLUE GREEN FOR THAT BADASS COSPLAY YOU’VE GOT PICKED OUT BUT MARK MY WORDS NO MORE THAN ONE FUCKING CRAYON’S WORTH OF BITS BETTER GO INTO THIS FUCKING BOWL.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, YOU NEED SOME OTHER FUCKING SHIT IN THERE SO GO GET SOME OIL. THE GOOD STUFF. I’M TALKING EVOO BITCHES THE VIRGINAL BLOOD OF THE MOST TENDER OLIVES IN ALL THE LAND. SQUEEZE SOME OF THAT HEAVENLY LUBRICANT INTO YOUR BOWL, ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON, THAT’LL DO PIG, THAT’LL DO. NOW GO FIND SOME SHEA BUTTER OR COCONUT OIL AND GLOP ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON OF THAT IN YOUR BOWL. NOW GO TO YOUR MAGICAL CABINET OF WONDERS AND FIND SOME NICE SMELLING SHIT. COULD BE VANILLA EXTRACT. COULD BE LAVENDER OIL. I DON’T KNOW BRO WHATEVER YOU THINK SMELLS LIKE THE SILKY UNDERBELLY OF A NEWBORN UNICORN(important note make sure you use a FOOD SAFE oil if it doesn’t say it’s food safe/food grade don’t use it!) GRASP THE BOTTLE FIRMLY, SCREAM LIKE A VICTORIOUS PTERODACTYL, AND DROP 1-4 DROPS OF THAT SWEET SMELLING LIQUID IN THERE.
I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE IT IS THE HEATING VESSEL FOR YOUR GLORIOUS LIPSTICK THAT’S RIGHT LIKE A VIKING WARLORD YOU ARE GOING TO USE A DOUBLE BOILER. SO GET A SAUCEPAN AND HEAT SOME WATER, THEN PLOP THAT SWEET SMELLING BOWL OF OIL AND WAX ON TOP OF THAT STEAMY WATER LIKE THE COLLISION OF YOUR OTP IN A BAD FANFIC OH YEAH. STIR THAT SHIT UNTIL EVERYTHING IS MELTY AND SMOOTH YOU DON’T WANT TO RUIN YOUR SPOONS SO I USE A DISPOSABLE CHOPSTICK FUCK YEAH RECYCLING NOW ONCE THAT SHIT IS SOFT LIKE THE SUPPLE SKIN OF YOUR HEAVENLY BOOTY, YOU NEED SOMETHING TO POUR IT INTO
WELL DAMN GOOD THING YOU PICKED UP SOME CONTACT CASES LAST TIME YOU WERE AT THE STORE OR MAYBE YOU HAVE SOME EMPTY CHAPSTICK TUBES OR JUST SOME SMALL TUPPERWARE I DON’T KNOW BUT GOSH YOU ARE SO RESOURCEFUL AND PRETTY YOU DESERVE NICE LIPSTICK LIKE THIS ALSO TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOU THIS WEEKEND AND NEVER FORGET HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU
I’M GLAD WE HAD THAT MOMENT TOGETHER NOW BECAUSE NOTHING IS MORE METAL THAN SAFETY, TAKE A THICK HAND TOWEL OR AN OVEN MITT OR SOMETHING AND GRIP THAT BOWL OF COLORFUL GOOP AND POUR GENTLY INTO THAT RECEPTACLE YOU PROCURED. YOU WILL PROBABLY SPILL SOME BUT THAT’S OKAY YOU’RE ONLY HUMAN. POP THAT SHIT IN THE FRIDGE BECAUSE YOU’RE AN IMPATIENT MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU WANT YOUR LIPSTICK NOW GODDAMMIT AND ONCE IT HARDENS SLATHER THAT CREAMY GOODNESS ON THICK, SLIDE ON SOME SUNGLASSES, AND HEAD INTO BATTLE TO DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY CLASS DISMISSED MOTHERFUCKERS
DO NOT DO THIS.
DO NOT DO THIS.
DO NOT DO THIS.
NO DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS, CRYON HAS A LOT OF FUCKING LEAD IN IT (four times more than lipstick) PLEASE JUST BUY ACTUAL LIPSTICK.
There’s no lead in crayola crayons. Kids eat them.
The ingredients in Crayola Crayons are: paraffin, wax, and pigment. They’re made with the understanding that some kids will eat the damn things, so the company that makes Crayons has been very very careful to use non-toxic materials, even going so far as to use a special edible glue on the paper labels. (cornstarch and water, fyi)
You can eat Crayons, if you really wanted to, but frankly the flavor’s a little bland. They taste like wax. So, yeah. adding oils with a lower solidification temperature like Olive Oil or Grapeseed or Avocado, and mixing in some Shea or Coconut Butter would make a creamy crayon. Which you could use on your skin, if you wanted.
Go wild, use that shit on more than just lips. Use it like theatrical makeup, paint your tits blue if you want. Or use it like paint on the walls, or paper, or canvas. It won’t dry the same way acrylic or watercolor paint will, and will remain ‘workable’ and pliable until the oil looses enough water to solidify, much like, oh, off the top of my head… oil paint.
Modern oil paints are very similar to the recipe above, though usually done with Linseed oil or other inert non-organic oils. Organic oils, as they dry, can discolor, making your carefully chosen color look off. Why are some really old painting slightly yellow? Partly the varnish has yellowed, partly airborne pollutants have stained the surface, and partly the oil in the original paint has shifted color.
BTW, don’t eat Linseed oil, you’ll get the runs something fierce and regret it a lot. And then you get to go to the doctor and explain why your runny poo is brightly colored. But the amount you’d ingest from lipstick made with crayons? Negligible.
Now I really want to make a set of rainbow lipstick to match my rainbow collection of nail polish (which is way more toxic than crayon lipstick, too.)
Rear Admiral Grace Hopper would have been 107 today, and is being honored with a great Google Doodle. It’s quite literally impossible for us to imagine, as we sit here reading about her on the internet, but people used to use things like paper and pencils and chalk and slide rules to solve (and often not solve) complicated problems. Grace Hopper quite simply helped usher in the modern age, her impact, I think, is no less than the steam engine or the cotton gin.
Some awesome stuff she did: Grace Hopper developed first compiler, allowing computer calculations to move beyond simple arithmetic and into more complex problems. She also developed first standardized computer language, COBOL, which laid the groundwork for all the languages we use today.
One day she found a dead moth disrupting one of the electronic relays in the Mark 1 computer, and upon removing it (and fixing the computer), the term “debugging" was popularized (although the idea of computer "bugs" had been around before). Here’s her daily log from that day, with the offending moth taped to the page:
Beyond that, she was a charming scientific communicator, and she possessed a marvelous ability to make people, and mind you this was in a time when almost no one owned their own computer, truly appreciate both the importance and the complexity of computing technology.
She famously carried around a bundle of nanoseconds in her purse for illustrative purposes. Here she is charming the socks off of David Letterman, and giving him a nanosecond of his very own (don’t miss the picosecond joke, either) :
and it’s amazing
but wait there’s more
omg and then
"Why, is your nose bigger than your dick?" OMFG so good!
If a girl is to do the same superman thing where he takes off his disguise, we just look pervy. Not the same effect
First of all: bullshit.
Secondly: If you are not doing the Linda Carter spin, then you’re doing it wrong.
how did you do that so smoothly?